Thinking Out Loud: What Does It Mean to Be a Christian?

Hi Friend!

One reoccurring thought I have been having is "what does it mean to be a Christian". 

And then the follow up thought is, "That's a weird thought to have, you've been a Christian you entire life. You should know the answer by now!"

And when I say I have been a Christian my entire life, I mean I was born my parents are Christians, my grandparents were Christians. The first week I was alive I was at church! I went to Sunday morning and Sunday night church as well as Wednesday night church and every church event that fell outside of that. 

Then as a teenager I worked at a Christian summer camp year round. When I graduated high school I did an internship at a church in Colorado Springs for 2 years! Then I moved back home and was a part of a church plant. I have done missions trips and ministry and read the entire Bible in 90 days! I've been a part of prayer rooms and worship nights and Christian conferences. 

And then life started to happen. I got married and shortly after we started dealing with infertility. And then Covid happened and everything shut down. Those were some dark years. 

During that time we stopped going to church because they shut down and I was hurting because we were not getting pregnant like we thought we would. All the things I used to do to pursue and grow my faith slowly stopped. And when churches did start opening back up, we just didn't go back. 

My younger self would be beside herself with worry for my soul! Just kidding! But younger me would definitely be shocked by what my life looks like. 

Now fast forward a few years, we actually are back in church and really enjoying it. 

But my faith feels different. It has definitely been changed by years of infertility. It isn't the super optimistic, happy, hopeful, excited inner feeling like it once was. It isn't the let me go to the coffee shop and spend hours reading my Bible. When I look back and my younger self, she was so passionate about her faith and spent so much time pursuing it.

As I am writing this I just had a thought. "What if I am looking at my younger years with rose colored lenses?" 

Granted, I was single my younger years, and all my free time was truly mine. Now I am married with a 3-year-old and any free time I get is divided between getting chores done, eating without little hands stealing my food, spending time with my husband, working on my blog, answering emails and budgeting, reading, sleeping. Really, all my free time is crammed a couple hours during nap time and after my son goes to bed at night. 

I am starting to ramble a bit. But, I think I am remembering my younger years spending all this time being on fire for Jesus, but I also think my brain is forgetting all the other normal everyday life things that I did. 

Also, back then I was my sole responsibility, now my son is my sole responsibility so that definitely shifts how I spend my time.

To answer my question, yes, I probably am looking at my younger years with rose colored lenses. 

So, back to my original question. What does it mean to be a Christian. Because if it looks like what my life looked like in my younger years, than that just isn't possible for me in the season of life I am in right now. 

Growing up, the answer that pretty much everyone gave, myself included, is being a Christian means having a relationship with God. But what the heck does that even mean?!

Is being a Christian mean doing all those religious activities like reading your Bible, going to church, serving in ministry? Basically all the things I did in my younger years before getting married and adopting my son? No, I don't think so, though I do think the nurture my faith, or my "relationship with God."

Maybe in my younger years I did have more opportunities for ministry and quiet time with Jesus and worship and prayer and Bible studies and church.

Maybe my current live has more opportunities for walking in patience and forgiveness. For trusting God when my prayers go unanswered. For serving one little boy and showing him unconditional love every single day. 

The ministry of my life doesn't seem nearly as grand as serving in ministry at a church or at a conference or on a mission trip. But maybe it requires a deeper, more steady faith. One that holds strong through the mundane and disappointments.

I think underneath everything, I'm not really asking "what does it mean to be a Christian," but instead I'm asking, "If I don't look like the Christian I used to be, am I still faithfully following Jesus?" 

I think underneath everything, I'm not really asking "what does it mean to be a Christian," but instead I'm asking, "If I don't look like the Christian I used to be, am I still faithfully following Jesus?" 

So what does that look like? What does it look like to faithfully follow Jesus no matter what season of life I am in.

I think back to the disciples of Jesus who died for their faith, or those in the early church who were persecuted for their faith. Even in parts of the world today to follow Jesus very well may mean dying for your faith. What is it that these Christians believe is so true about Jesus that it reordered their entire lives?

Why did Paul endure beatings, prison, shipwrecks, and eventually execution? 

Why did ordinary believers continue meeting when they knew they could be arrested?

It most certainly wasn't because the church service made them feel inspired. They weren't dying because they enjoyed daily quiet time. 

It was because they became so convinced of one central claim. 

Jesus is Lord. 

This statement was more than a doctrinal statement. It was a declaration of allegiance. 

To the early church, Jesus wasn't a concept, he was the Son of God who walked on the earth, died and rose again. To say Jesus is Lord they were saying my identity belongs to Him, my obedience belongs to Him, my hope belongs to Him, my life belongs to Him. 

Everything flowed from that statement.

So maybe the question isn't: What does it mean to be a Christian? Maybe the question is: What does it mean to confess that Jesus is Lord?

If Jesus is Lord...

How do I live my life? How do I spend money? How do I forgive? How do I treat others? How do I raise my son? How do I respond when my prayers go unanswered? 

To circle back around to the beginning of this post, the question I should be asking instead of "what does it mean to be a Christian" is "what does it actually look like for me to live as though Jesus is Lord."

And I don't think there is a straight answer for that. I do think that if that statement is at the center of my faith, it then becomes the lens I make every decision from. It's not a checklist. It's asking the question everyday in every moment: If Jesus is Lord, what does faithfulness look like here, in this situation?

When I was younger, the emphasis of my faith was pursuing Jesus. That was definitely a favorite phrase people used back then, myself included! I wanted to pursue Him with everything I had. 

As I get older though, the emphasis has slowly become less about pursuing and more about following Jesus.

These sound really similar, but they're different. 

"Pursuing" emphasizes what I'm doing. It's one-sided and very active.

"Following" emphasizes where He is leading. Even when that path includes infertility, unanswered prayers, disappointment, mundane Thursdays, raising children, spending time with my husband, feeding strangers, watching dogs, whatever it might me. 

When I was younger, I pursued Jesus with everything I had. I was passionate and on fire for him. But maybe now He is asking me to faithfully follow Him in the life He's actually given me. 

Honestly, I am still wrestling with this, but for me, being a Christian is to declare Jesus is Lord, over every part of my life. Yes, that looks like reading my Bible and going to church, but it is also declaring Jesus is Lord of my life, when life is hard and prayers go unanswered, in the mundane, in the good times and and bad times. In all parts of my life.

I don't know if this makes much sense, but I have been encouraged while writing this post, and I hope it encourages you to!

As  always, thanks for reading!